In my circle of homeschooling moms, many are seriously looking for employment or some other way of making money. 

That is when I tell them about Rhea Perry.

Rhea is a homeschooling mother of 7 who, over the last several years, has made it her business to help families start internet businesses of their own.

She has a very interesting story of her own which includes helping her son find his passion and making enough money through that passion to bring her husband home from corporate America.

She has taken what she has learned, the people she has met, and the talents she has been given to help other families bring their husbands and fathers home, out of the corporate world.

But now it seems that fear is permeating our country. People are just hunkering down and trying to wait out the current economic storm.  Those with the corporate jobs are holding on for dear life.  The idea of following your passion is not even on the radar.

That is truly a shame.

Each of us is given gifts and talents that are meant to be shared with the world.  Those gifts and talents are revealed to us through our passions.  Those passions are meant to be our portal to prosperity.

Even in the best of times, conventional wisdom says to, if possible, get a new business started on the side and let it grow until you can say good-bye to you day job.

So instead of kicking ourselves for not setting up our internet businesses when times were good, let’s move forward from here and learn how to get them going right now.

A great way to do that is through Rhea’s Progete Program.  This year, Rhea’s goal is to have all of her protoges earn $50k through their internet businesses.  And she is walking us through it step-by-step, from finding our passions to making the sales.

If you are interested in the Protege Program, a great way to learn about it is at Rhea’s Protege Retreat which will be April 3-5, 2009.  The great thing about Rhea’s events is that she wants you to bring the kids!  

These events help Mom and Dad start up businesses, but they also help kids learn how to start up businesses, too!

I am inviting you to Rhea’s Progete Retreat, BUT I can only bring 5 families.  So if you plan to attend with me, please let me know.

Find all the info here  www.protegedays.nicoleelyce.com

If you have kids at home then you know that someone is indeed watching you…all the time!

We are most aware of this when they are around 3 or 4, and they repeat what we say at the most inopportune time.

It is like when Ralphie, the young boy in “A Christmas Story,” is helping his dad change a tire.  The lug nuts go flying out of his hand and an obscenity comes flying out of his mouth.  Ralphie had heard his dad use that word many, many times before, but his parents assumed he wasn’t listening.

But they are always listening…and watching.

They say that the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree.  Some of that may be due to genetics, but much of that is due to modeling.  Children watch what the parents do and assume that is the way it is done.

This week in www.FiveMinuteLifeLessons.com we talked about greeting someone for the first time.

The first thing we talked about being aware of is your attitude.

What attitude do you model with your children?  Is it the attitude that you want others to use with you?  Is it the attitude you want your kids to use with your grandkids?

Remember…we are also teaching our children how to parent.

If you do find yourself in a bad mood, what do you do about it?  Anything?  We have some things you can do at www.FiveMinuteLifeLessons.com.  And as your kids see you taking responsibility for your mood, they will learn how to take responsibility for theirs.

As far as the greeting part of the lesson this week, as you model a proper greeting toward people you meet, your children will see how it is done.  That doesn’t guarantee that they will do it properly every time…or any time.  But you will know you did your part. The rest is up to them.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

I think that is a pretty good “sum up.”

But when it comes to kids, especially our own, we can run into sticky territory. 

I would like to say that I always treat my children the way that I would like to be treated, but then I would be struck down by a bolt of lightning.

I have great aspirations, but I run into “Mommy mode” where things just need to get done…right now.  I want the hair brushed, the teeth brushed, the showers taken, the shoes on, the homework done… right now, with no questions asked.

I was thinking about it this morning.  If someone came into my house and started ordering me around, I would start to get a bit snippy and probably down-right mad.  Just like my kids seem to be when I order them around…hmmm. 

But I don’t always get treated the way that I would like, either.

I read all sorts of parenting books when my kids were small.  I read books about using “the rod,” books about only using positive reinforcement, and everything in between. 

Here was my litmus test, the question I wanted answered when I picked up one of these parenting books…

What do I do when my child is screaming “NOOOO!!!” at the top of her lungs after I let her know it was time to get her shoes on so we can go to Mommy’s appointment?

“The rod” book had an answer, but it didn’t seem to follow the Golden Rule. 

I tried getting down on their level and talking with them, but I am now savvy enough to realize that you cannot reason with a 3 or 17 year old.  And they don’t give a flip about my need to be somewhere anyway.

I am still looking for my answer.  Maybe during this People Skills Unit at www.FiveMinuteLifeLessons.com it will come to me, because I am learning even as I am putting the unit together.

But I do know that even if they don’t treat me the way I want to be treated, I need to be the model (and the grown-up).  Bummer!

What skills and knowledge will the kids need in the real world?

My husband and I have been going back and forth on this for a while. We both agree that having exposure to a wide range of math, science, history, and literature is a good thing. One never knows where one will find his or her passion.

But we also agree that unless something is useful or interesting, it will not be remembered.

My husband loves history. While he and I each had many history courses growing up, he retained much more knowledge than I did because he found it interesting. Truth be told, I probably did better on the tests, though.

But back to our question…

What skills and knowledge will the kids need in the real world?

From our traditional schooling, we agreed on basic math – addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Possibly fractions, percentages, and some basic geometry would be helpful, too.

Reading and writing well are essential.  Basic knowledge of history and science also give you a foundation of common language references.

But here are the topics and some of the associated subtopics we came up with that are not taught in schools…

People Skills

·         Establishing rapport

·         Relationship skills

·         Conflict resolution

·         Etiquette

·         Public Speaking

Money Skills

·         Budgeting

·         Credit

·         Taxes

·         Investing

Time Management Skills

Space Management/Organization Skills

Decision Making Skills

Home Skills

·         Basic home maintenance and repair

·         Cooking

·         Cleaning

·         Lawn care

Car Skills

·         Knowing how to drive in all conditions

·         Basic maintenance

·         Dealing with an emergency – changing a flat tire and using jumper cables

Health Skills

·         Nutrition

·         First Aid

·         Dealing with illness

 Self-care skills

·         Stress management

·         Hygiene

·         Finding your passion

·         Knowing and living what you believe

Safety Skills

·         Emergency preparedness

·         Basic self-defense

·         Personal boundaries

·         Personal protection on the internet

Living On Your Own

·         Getting your first apartment

·         Paying taxes

·         Reading a paycheck

·         Insurance

·         Roommates

I am sure we will come up with more as we go along. But for now, we’ll start with these.

We decided to start with people skills. I have been gathering information on people skills from many different sources to pull together a People Skills course for my children. You can follow our lessons at www.fiveminutelifelessons.com.

Many times my children have asked why they need to know this or that, especially my son. Sometimes I have an answer, many times I do not.

But I really started thinking about what they need to know for the “real world.” What skills do I use every day?  My husband goes off to work every day as an engineer. What skills does he use?

The more I thought about it, the more I began to realize that my son had a point. Most of what is taught in our system of education is never used.

We like to watch the TV show “Are You Smarter Than a 5^th Grader,” where contestants answer 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th, and 5^th grade questions with the help of a small class of 5^th graders. The questions run the gamut from math to grammar to cultural studies. The prize for answering all 11 questions correctly is $1 million.

Over the 2 years that the show has been on, only one contestant has answered all 11 questions correctly and won the million dollars. How can that be? Didn’t we all go through elementary school at some point?

First, I am not sure what curriculum they are using in elementary schools these days, but most of the questions were not from things taught in my elementary school…high school, maybe.

But more importantly, the reason that most people do not know the answers to these questions is because they don’t need to know them. They are facts and trivia that have nothing to do with the “real world.” If it was relevant then people would remember it. 

Now, I am not saying all education is useless. I would probably not be writing this at all if it were not for my education, for which I am very grateful. It is great to learn how to effectively read and write or learn how to use percentages to calculate interest paid on a car loan or look at history with the intent of not repeating it. But most education doesn’t take it that far. Most of the time, it stops at the facts and trivia stage. But that is a whole other topic.

Back to the original question…

What do my children really need to know for life on their own? What skills will they need to use every day?

Think about it.

I’ll let you know what I came up with tomorrow.

Some give up, but others keep trying.

Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person just keeps talking? They may be saying the same thing over and over again or flit around from one subject to another. But they just keep talking. You may be thinking “I got it the first time,” “Enough already,” “How do I get out of this?,” or any of a number of similar loving sentiments.

I found myself in this situation last week. It was an “I got it the first time” inner dialogue.

Then I did something different. I decided to be fully present and engaged in the conversation. I shifted, focusing only on the other person. Then the talking stopped. She was done. She had connected and was satisfied. That was probably what she was looking for in the first place, but I was not giving it to her. I was involved with me and my internal dialogue.

Independent of her political views, I heard something about Hillary Clinton that really impressed me. She may have been first lady or running for the senate at the time. The commentator, who had met her, said that when she talks to you, it is like you are the only person in the room. Her attention and focus is solely on the person she is speaking to. What an awesome way to be with people!

Consciously or unconsciously others know when you are really listening or not.

When you are really listening, you are giving the other person acknowledgment and allowing him/her to be heard.

What a gift!

Seems pretty obvious.

But it is amazing to me how little we do that for each other.

Before I had children, I remember standing in line at the grocery store. Ahead of me in line was a mom and her two young children. Her daughter was saying, “Mommy … Mommy … Mommy … Mommy … Mommy…” in that endearing way children have – think nails on a chalkboard. Mom just continued to put the groceries on the belt, ignoring her daughter’s pleas.

I remember thinking that if that woman would just answer the child and listen for just a few seconds, then the little girl would feel heard and stop with the “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.”

Then I had kids of my own.

I was driving around town with the kids in the back seat, off in my own little world, vaguely aware that there was chatter in the backseat. Then I was brought out of my world with a loud, “Mommy … Mommy … Mommy.”

I had turned into the mom in the grocery store.

I found out it is psychologically impossible to listen to everything a child has to say. If you fully listen to everything, you will go crazy.

But I also realize that when I do listen, I am also not always really listening. I have other things going on in the background…grocery lists, phone calls that need to be made, errands that need to be run, etc.

Actually, to be honest, I guess I should change that to “I am usually not really listening.”

But they know. And they keep trying.

The keep trying to be acknowledged, heard, and understood.

God love ‘em.

Lately I have been working on my listening skills. I still don’t listen to everything that is going on, but when I am having a conversation, I focus on being present and fully listening.

It’s hard!

My pattern was to think about all sorts of things while I was talking with my kids, including coming up with ways to get out of the conversation.

I have been breaking the pattern, one conscious conversation at a time.

I am already seeing rewards. My daughter is opening up and talking to me more.  I think she was looking for that connection.

And I am really enjoying our conversations.

I have more on adults, but I’ll save that for tomorrow.

For me, it was riding my bike around a new campground – so fun and independent. Riding up to the camp store, even if I wasn’t going to buy anything, swimming in the new pools, climbing on the rocks in the creek, and playing cards in the camper are all fond memories.

I remember seeing Mt. Rushmore, Old Faithful, and the Rockies. But the most fun on the vacation was the “off” time when I could just play in a new place.

I think that was pretty much the case for Jade and Ryan, too. When I asked them the best part of the trip, climbing on rocks and swimming in pools sprang to mind first.

I still think it is a good idea to show the kids different parts of the country, and eventually, different parts of the world as opportunities present themselves.

But I also realize that a vacation has to be a good mix of seeing the sights and free time so you can play in the creek.

Jade’s favorite parts were climbing the rocks at Yosemite, wakeboarding in Yuma, and the bus tour in San Francisco. Rawhide in Phoenix was fun, too. She wouldn’t recommend Las Vegas, Hoover Dam, or going too far down the Bright Angel trail in the Grand Canyon. She would like to go back to the Grand Canyon and ride the mules to the bottom of the canyon and hike into Bryce Canyon.

Ryan’s favorite parts were swimming in the pools, Bryce Canyon (but only spend 3 hours there), and Alcatraz (the audio tour, especially). He would have rather skipped the 5 mile hike in Sedona, the bus tour of San Francisco, and Las Vegas (except now he can say he has been to Las Vegas). He says he has pretty much been there and done that and doesn’t have a desire to go back anywhere.

John’s favorite parts were Bryce Canyon, Grand Canyon, and Yosemite. He would like to go back to any of those and spend a week. He didn’t care for Phoenix, Las Vegas, or San Francisco. Not a real city boy, is he?

Nobody asked me, but I will share it with you anyway… My favorite places were Sedona and Zion National Park. I would like to go back to Sedona and to San Francisco to try to get a better feel for the city – off the bus! I wouldn’t recommend Hoover Dam and the bus tour in San Francisco was a bit tedious. Las Vegas was also not my kind of town.

Got up at 3:30 this morning to catch the flight back home.

Little things just seemed to go wrong today…

·         Miscommunication on packing and trying to get out of the room on time. Tension!

·         John left his hat in the hotel room and ran back for it while the shuttle for the airport was there.

·         Suitcases were overweight, and we had to create a new carry-on on the spot.

·         Nothing to eat for breakfast. Vendor lines were too long.

·         Realized Jade left her new Grand Canyon sweatshirt in the terminal as we were boarding the plane. Made mad dash to get it.

·         Short connection time between flights. Trying to get food and other necessities during the 10 minutes before boarding in Denver.

·         After sitting on the plane for over an hour in Denver, they took the plane out of service. We had to change to another plane at the other end of the terminal. John noticed that the flaps weren’t retracting like they were supposed to during the final check.

·         As we were getting on board, realized my purse and Ryan’s sweatshirt were back at the seats we were using in the terminal.

But in the end, we were home, safe and reasonable sound.

On the drive home we quizzed the kids on the portions of our trip to see if it was a 2 week vacation or a 2 week field trip. They did very well, so we deemed it a field trip.

Home - Dogs Happy to See Us

It was time to head San Francisco this morning, but after doing a little shopping we did stop to play in the river in Yosemite.

Climbing Rocks in Yosemite

Playing in the River

More Playing in the River

The rest of the day was a travel day to San Francisco.

Tomorrow we see San Francisco.

Since this is such a short post, I’ll post another Travel Tip.

John learned this tip based on a prior incident, but it was confirmed by my brother-in-law, David…

When you rent a car, pay the extra for the insurance.

After we drove off in the car, we noticed a scrape along the side and a cigarette burn on the passenger’s seat. Those were pre-existing conditions that could have bit us when we returned it.

While we were driving through Phoenix, a rock hit and nicked the windshield.  As we drove around, we would scrape the bottom of the car on the car stops and little things like that. We travelled 2200 miles over 2 weeks. A lot can happen in that time.

As we returned the car this evening, it was nice to know we could just drop it off and not worry about any of it.